The Kardashian Dynasty

Kendall Jenner, the second youngest of the infamous sister squad posted pretty relatable insight yesterday on her app (because of course every 20-year-old model slash social media star has their own app). No, but seriously why does she need an app?

Basically Kendall gave us the 411 on all things Kardashian-Jenner. By all things, I of course mean the deepest and most valuable way in which American women judge other womens’ character: by deciding which Disney Princess they’re most alike.

It’s textbook psycho-analysis. Trust me on this one. If you’ve ever been to a 4th grade slumber party, you should really know that there is an enormous difference between being a Pocahontas and being an Aurora. It’s the difference between teaching your gal pals how to french braid and starting World War III. 

Here’s what Kendall said:

First off, she claims she’s Mulan. Hello…I am SO Mulan. And yes I do feel a strange sense of competitiveness with any other girls who self identify as being MY Disney Princess. 

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And I mean…Kendall’s only like, what? 110 pounds? I think I could take her. 

She then goes on to examine her sisters. “My sisters and I love Disney movies,” Kendall shared. “We used to watch them all the time when Kylie and I were little.” 

Kim is (of course) Ariel. I definitely can’t argue with this one. Ariel’s the girl who gave up her voice so that Prince Eric would find her attractive. I’m labeling her “boy crazy” right across her forehead with a big, fat, red sharpie. 

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Kourtney, according to Kendall, is Jasmine. Wow Kendall…I’m seriously sorry for wanting to fight you earlier because this impeccable comparison has granted you so much respect in my book. Okay, okay we can BOTH be Mulan.

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Then she says Khloe is Belle which I may or may not be completely inclined to agree with. I mean Belle is the absolute epitome of naivety, and innocent kind heartedness. She’s good to the bone. Khloe’s 100% got some bad up her sleeve. 

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And she leaves her notorious partner in crime, Kylie for last, awarding her the out of left field, totally unexpected Rapunzel. It might be my old fashioned-ness (I heard 21 is the new 45) but I hadn’t even considered Rapunzel one of the options. Nevertheless, it seems fitting enough. She’s quiet and quirky and Kendall approved. What more could you ask for?

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Well that’s all of them. And while I’d like to admit that I am an expert at all things Disney Princesses, I have to say that Kendall did a pretty good job. We’re missing some pretty amazing princesses here though: Pocahontas, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Anna, Elsa, Tiana, Cinderella, Merida…stop me because I could go on. 

If we’ve learned anything today it is that everything we’ve known to be true for the past 10 years is absolutely true and verified from  Kendall’s mouth directly (or from her undeniable necessary app): the Kardashians are royalty, out of a fairytale, Disney Princess royalty.

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